Helpful Tools

I have compiled a list of resources that represent the best help for me and my marriage, as well as resources I know have made a difference in many others throughout my many years of experience as coach, pastor, and counselor.

Make sure you get the most out of these by diving into them with an open mind and heard, and a willingness to put to action what you learn.

Get the Book

Everything is great when you’re in love! But life has a way of turning that down. You start drifting apart, conflicts arise, you get busy with other things, and then you realize the quality of your connection and the closeness you once experienced has diminished. Some couples call it quits and walk away. But you can do something about this.

You can TURN IT UP! and revive your relationship or marriage. TURN IT UP! will give you five commitments to make and five skills to learn that will teach you how to strengthen your connection and grow closer to each other again. When you turn it up regularly, you really can have the kind of marriage you want and have it last a lifetime.

Latest Articles

Coaching Marriage

What is Coaching

Counseling or therapy tends to look backward to heal the hurts of your past that are impacting you today. Coaching looks forward to where you want to be and supports you as you create and implement the action plan that will get you there. Coaching is not…

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Coaching Marriage

Ask for help

One of the biggest mistakes a lot of people make in relationships and life is not asking for help. Asking for help is for the strong Asking for help is hard! We don’t want to admit that we have a problem we can’t solve or a need that we cannot meet. We don’t want to …

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Communication Marriage

How to help someone feel understood

Have you ever had your spouse say to you after trying to talk to you, “You just don’t get it.” They are not saying you are stupid; they are saying that they don’t feel you understand them. Or have you ever been…

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e-Book

I have prepared an e-book with FIVE BEST COMMUNICATION TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE that I will deliver to you right in your email inbox. Please make sure you get access to my exclusive e-book by clicking on the button below.

Videos

For more video material, please FOLLOW MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.

Husbands, Are Your Words Lifting Her Up? 💖 Speak Life Into Your Wife 🙏

Husbands — do you ever wonder if your wife feels truly loved, cherished, and valued? 💭
Here’s the truth: your words carry incredible power in her life.
📖 Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious ...words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Want to love her like Christ does? 💒
✅ Tell her she’s beautiful — inside and out.
✅ Thank her for all the little things she does at home, at work, and for your family.
✅ Speak God’s truth over her, especially when she feels low.

Your voice is one of the most powerful in her world. Use it to lift her up. 🌸

💬 If you agree, type YES in the comments.
📥 Want more faith-filled marriage tips? Follow for daily encouragement.
#FaithBasedMarriage #ChristianHusband #SpeakLife #MarriageMatters #LoveLikeChrist #Proverbs1624 #ChristianMarriageTips #GodlyMarriage #WordsOfAffirmation[+] Show More

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Husbands, Are Your Words Lifting Her Up? 💖 Speak Life Into Your Wife 🙏

Husbands — do you ever wonder if your wife feels truly loved, ...

Husbands — do you ever wonder if your wife feels truly loved, cherished, and valued? 💭
Here’s the truth: your words carry incredible power in her life.
📖 Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious ...words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Want to love her like Christ does? 💒
✅ Tell her she’s beautiful — inside and out.
✅ Thank her for all the little things she does at home, at work, and for your family.
✅ Speak God’s truth over her, especially when she feels low.

Your voice is one of the most powerful in her world. Use it to lift her up. 🌸

💬 If you agree, type YES in the comments.
📥 Want more faith-filled marriage tips? Follow for daily encouragement.
#FaithBasedMarriage #ChristianHusband #SpeakLife #MarriageMatters #LoveLikeChrist #Proverbs1624 #ChristianMarriageTips #GodlyMarriage #WordsOfAffirmation[+] Show More

active

Want to "Win" an Argument Without Losing Your Marriage?

Is every argument in your marriage a battle for who’s right? 🥊 Here’s ...

Is every argument in your marriage a battle for who’s right? 🥊
Here’s the truth: when one spouse wins and the other loses, your relationship loses.
But God's Word offers a better ...way.

📖 Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Healthy conflict isn’t about who gets the last word — it’s about finding a win-win. 🤝
✅ Let your spouse influence you.
✅ Seek to understand, not just respond.
✅ Honor both your needs.

It’s not about winning the argument — it’s about winning together. 💕

💬 If this resonates, type YES in the comments.
📥 Want help building a stronger connection? Type GUIDE and I’ll send you my free Couples Communication Guide.
#FaithBasedMarriage #ChristianMarriageTips #Ephesians521 #ConflictResolution #MarriageGodsWay #HealthyCommunication #GodCenteredLove #MarriageMatters[+] Show More

active

The One Word that Kills Connection in a Marriage

Have you ever found a simple conversation with your spouse spiraling ...

Have you ever found a simple conversation with your spouse spiraling into conflict despite your best intentions? This video by Kelly DuPee, a pastor, police chaplain, and Christian marriage coach, ...delves into the power of 'I' statements over 'You' statements for healthier, more empathetic communication in relationships. Kelly offers six practical steps to effectively utilize 'I' statements, along with scriptural advice and a prayer for guidance. Watch now to discover how replacing blame with vulnerability can foster deeper connection, understanding, and love in your marriage.

Want to improve the communication in your marriage?
Here's the link to Kelly's free Couple's Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguide

00:00 Introduction: The Power of Words in Marriage
00:34 Understanding the Impact of 'You' Statements
01:15 Introducing 'I' Statements: A Transformative Tool
02:08 Step 1: Start with the Feeling, Not the Fault
03:00 Step 2: Describe the Specific Situation, Not a Pattern
03:52 Step 3: Avoid Sneaking in Blame
04:23 Step 4: Explain Why It Matters to You
05:10 Step 5: Make a Positive Request
06:31 Step 6: Pray It Before You Say It
07:31 Conclusion: Building Connection Through Communication

Check out How to Ask for What you Want: https://youtu.be/2sUcdK5dPCg

Call or text Kelly at 626-804-1731 for a free, no obligation Strategy call or use https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-clarity-call[+] Show More

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Books

Please make sure to access my curated list of books in the link below.

Turn It Up!: How to have the lifelong marriage that you really want

Check on Amazon

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Check on Amazon

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Check on Amazon

Disclosure: I have an affiliate marketing relationship with Amazon. I get paid a small commission if you buy any of the books I recommend by clicking on them from my site. I never recommend a book that I have not read myself and found helpful. The books I recommend have helped me tremendously and I hope they do the same for you.