Why and how to give grace to others

How do you want people to treat you when you make a mistake? If you would like others to give you grace, then give grace to others!

When you make a mistake do you want your loved ones to:

  1. Judge you
  2. Ask you “why did you do that?”
  3. Show their disappointment in you?
  4. Speak to you harshly
  5. Send messages of condemnation?

Or would you rather they:

  1. Understand that you are not perfect
  2. Acknowledge that we all make mistakes
  3. Not make a big deal over it
  4. Let you off the hook
  5. Move on to figuring out what to do about it

In other words, you want them to give you grace, right?


What is grace?

What is grace? In a relational context, grace is understanding, forgiveness and acceptance.

God gives us grace through Jesus. He doesn’t condemn us, judge us or make us earn our forgiveness. Jesus paid the price when he died on the cross and rose again. Now we can be forgiven and receive his grace.

God grace gives us:

  1. Understanding
  2. Forgiveness
  3. Acceptance

Our Problem- we don’t want to give grace to others

We all have a problem. We want others to give us grace. But we don’t give grace to them. Do we?

NO we want to

  1. Teach them a lesson
  2. Hold them accountable
  3. Make sure they don’t do it again

We act like the owners of a puppy who has just pooped on the floor. We rub the puppy’s nose in it. If you’re like me, when someone messes up, I want to do the same thing.

But Jesus said in Matthew (7:12): “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” In other words, if you want people to give you grace, you need to give them grace.

If you want people to give you grace, you need to give them grace.

Two ways to get people to give you grace:

  1. Give grace to them, even if they don’t deserve it or ask for it.
  2. Ask them to give grace to you when you mess up

Give grace to others? What if I give grace and my spouse keeps making the same mistake?

You may say, I give grace all the time, but my husband keeps making the same mistake and hurting me. The scripture says to also speak the truth in love and that Jesus came full of grace AND truth. I cover how to speak the truth in love in this post: https://turnitup.coach/change-your-marriage-tell-your-spouse-the-truth-with-love/

Let’s give grace to others!

Let’s be people of grace and give grace to others. Let’s treat others the way we want to be treated.

Remember grace is understanding, forgiveness and acceptance. Our world will be a better place when you give grace and you’ll probably be happier too.

For more on this – take a look at this video: https://youtu.be/xzUo62aAhZA

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